Dreams.

 all I wanted was a house by the lake

my kids playing around, laughing

but that is not mine to take

still this dream comes on crashing

I often wonder if I'll ever get it

or something close to that

a family that won't quit 

in my hands I wanna grab 

but before any of this happens

I dream about a loving husband

one that won't run from my mess

and will accept me even being troubled

he would look me in the eyes

and I'll see the love in them

he would wrap me in his arms

and I'd never feel unsafe again

but even with all this dreaming 

I still know the truth

I won't have this loving

not all the way through

because people see me and leave

they can't stand to stay

I bring a sadness that weaves

along with all my mistakes 

I am too much to be loved 

I am too much to be seen

so I leave this locked

and the dream is just a dream.